Taking your i-banker hat off

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Taking your i-banker hat off

A bit of cocky confidence and your fantastic ability to make shit smell like Chanel No.5 (see Working for Rupert McMuppet) gets you invited to pitch with Rupert to Company A, all on the back of your groundbreaking mini combo analysis. Well, actually, you did really try to do the same bit of “what would it look like if Company A tried to buy” every single one of its competitors, but nothing else worked. Ahem. Let’s be honest here, what you really mean is that every other potential acquisition was even worse! So Rupert triumphantly decides to go with the best of the lot. You’ve got the presentation all worked out, printed, bound and checked. The introduction slide sets out the agenda for the meeting, and summarises the work you have done. You proudly look at it with your newly acquired investment banker viewpoint and glance over it to make sure it all ties in, makes sense and that the firm (through yourself and Rupert as its channel) is delivering top notch advice to Company A. Ahem!! What you really mean to say, is that you check for typos.

Your slide looks something like this.

For a brief moment, you step back, take your investment banking hat off and take a fresh look at the slide. You can hear the voice of your mentor saying “remember that our clients aren’t bankers and you must always put yourself in their shoes whenever you present to them. See the pitch the way they would see it.” You decide to put your client hat on and take a fresh look at the slide.

You put your i-banker hat on again and pack up the books and think you yourself: “Heh, aint no way these Company A guys are going to see through this. If they were so smart, they’d be i-bankers.”

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