Why do you want to be an i-banker (3 months down the line)?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Why do you want to be an i-banker (3 months down the line)?

As you sit in the 9th floor corner conference, gazing blankly at the people leaving their offices at 5PM in the streets below, with the speaker phone blasting out the sharp, jargon loaded bankerspeak, of an MD from the New York office, you think back at the days when you were still applying for a slice of the action you are so deeply plugged into now (or is it plugged into you - you can't ever tell which way it is for sure).

You remember filing out numerous application forms riddled with cryptic questions like "!What draws you to the investment banking industry?" and "what is the most challenging thing you have ever done?".

What did draw you to i-banking, you ask yourself? Was it the flash suits, fitted and monogrammed shirts and custom made shoes? Was it the prospect of becoming a master of the universe, with a personal net worth to match? Was it the need to fill that gap in your ego because your parents didn't show you enough attention by money and fame in the form of your deal on the front page of the Financial Times? Whatever it was, it definitely was not the "insatiable desire to be at the forefront if the financial worls and your ever inversing desire to excel". I mean come on - does that even mean anything. You remember thinking just that, but writing dowm the cliche answer anyway, hoping you would be enlightened as to its meaning once you were within those majestic golden gates of investment banking nirvana. No such luck buddy.
Why did you rally want to join an i-bank. "yeah, why the fuck?" you ask yourself as the speakephone goes silent. Afte a few seconds of peaceful silence, the yankee on the other end of the line calls your name "you got that London?"

You panic for a few moments. You don't have a clue what he's on about. Shit. Shit shit. You think about what Rob would do right now.

"London here. We couldn't make out what was said. The line is breaking up at our end. Please could you repeat that?"

Quick thinking. You pay yourself on the back, impressed that Rob's ability to fire bullshit left right and center has rubbed off on you.

Maybe that's why you wanted to become an i-banker. To learn how to bullshit. Forget about it. After alll, you got into a business you knew precious little about. You bullshitted your way through Rupert McMuppet! No way. You had it in you all along.
So why did you want to become an i-banker?

Ralising that its about time you paid some attention, you brush away the question of why you wanted to get here, and start focusing on becoming a master of the universe.

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