...and the kind of shit that (often) happens in investment banking

Friday, July 20, 2007

...and the kind of shit that (often) happens in investment banking

... continued from "The kind of shit that (not so often) happens in investment banking"

You waltz into the office at around 10:30 am, feeling like you own the place in light of the information you acquired the night before, on your way home from work. You get to your desk, drop your things onto loudly, look at your phone, where the red indicator light is blinking indicating that you have voicemails, and choose to ignore it. You pick up the phone to Mike, one of your buddies in the industrial manufacturing group and arrange to meet him at the lifts for coffee. You take a stroll around the floor, saying hi to fellow monkeys and the secretaries, and stopping by to exchange a few (condescending, given that you are now a pro forma master of the universe) words with each of them.

"Don't you have work to do man?"

Asks one of the summer interns, who is religiously compiling annual and quarterly reports for the comps he needs to do.

"My man, you will learn. In time, you will learn... not to ask silly questions like that"

As you pass more and more people in the office, blatantly demonstrating the fact that you are really doing nothing, more heads start to turn, and you can hear the puzzled whispers as you pass each desk.

"Is he quitting?"

You barely make out the words coming from behind you, as you make your way to the lifts.

You chuckle, as you make out the words. Little do they know what is really on the table, you think to yourself and picture yourself turning around, walking over the the little naive monkey who asked the question and saying:

"Little man, quitting is for amateurs. For the guys that aren't good enough to stay. I am by no means quitting. Mark these words, as you are talking to the future department head... and when you know the kind of shit that I know, that won't be in the too distant future".

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