Investment Bank CEOs: Another one bites the dust

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Investment Bank CEOs: Another one bites the dust

As another investment bank head throws in the towel, another set of investment banking inspired lyrics begin dancing in front of your eyes, sung to the tune of "I Will Survive", but from that vey embattled CEO's point of view.

First I was Chief counsel,
And then the CEO,
I pinned red umbrellas in my suit,
But the shares they moved so slow,
Investment banking was doing well,
ECM made cash to burn,
I was riding the financial markets,
Hoping there’ll be no downturn,

And then the dance,
Began to slow,
All the hedge funds pulled their cash,
nd the institutions began to follow,
And now my share price is in the pits,
Massive writeoffs are what I see,
I don’t want no shareholders,
Can’t they just stop bothering me?!?

They say “go on now go”, “walk out the door”,
“Just turn around now, 'cause you're not welcome anymore”
“ Weren't you the one who tried to stick to the strategy,
That read that if you get advised by us, we’ll throw some debt in there for free”
I should have split the firm apart,
I should have sold it bit by bit,
Like all the analysts told me,
Now it’s all just gone to shit,
At least I’ve got my options when I leave,
Although they don’t amount to much today,
But once I’m gone the price will soar,
And I’ll get my sky high pay day.

Just out of curiosity, how many of you monkeys and monkeyettes out there recognise the CEO and firm in questiosn. Drop the monkey a comment to have your say!


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

isn't it stan oneil?

Anonymous said...

Charles Prince...the citiman...

Anonymous said...

Chuck Prince!

Nanana said...

Red Umbrella :)

BTW, B-school 1st yr here, and I have signed my soul to an I Bank for the summer. Any tips?

Anonymous said...

red umbrellas - citi - prince :)

Anonymous said...

Shitty Bank

Anonymous said...

I believe the possible candidates is increasing by the minute...

Jason said...

you are awesome

Anonymous said...

Shares are starting to look cheeeeepppp! Wait for the bounce (has to find a bottom at some point) and start buying.

Anonymous said...

Chuck, no doubt about it and its amazing to hear that both citi and merrill are looking at the same set of candidates for replacements.

Anonymous said...

Mr Prince bien sur!

Anonymous said...

Citigroup or I'll eat my own red umbrella

Jenny said...


but the previous post was def Stan:

"But such is the strength of the Merill name" ...

Anonymous said...

Dudes -- Tenjune is getting shut down. Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! It was raided for coke.

Anonymous said...

whats tenjune?

Anonymous said...

...hehe ... what's coke?

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Cocaine Princess said...

I was browsing through some blogs and I came across yours. I enjoyed it in particular the poem.

Cocaine Princess

Anonymous said...

Hey monkey..

from your previous thread in summer intern..I read about investment banker cannot do maths and always depend on excel.Are you sure?I am not good at maths.can I become investment banker?and can you provide the article about skills which used in investment banking and the skills I must learn to get into investment banking..and is CFA chartered is useful to become investment banker?

Thank You..Nice job..I love your blog..

Anonymous said...

where is the monkey?

HF said...

Monkey, Monkey in which jungle are you hiding?

Anonymous said...

Hey Monkey??
How are you?

Anonymous said... site, keep more new update and i will visit again

Anonymous said...

Hey, have you stopped writing and exited the ib jungle, or what?

Jason said...

why dont you update!!?!

Anonymous said...

Calling the monkey. Your blog needs thee!

Anonymous said...

"Vanguard Investment is good for superannuation fund trustees who have a self managed super fund because they have index fund products that mean that the investor does not have to worry about buying and selling shares at the right time. Vanguard buy shares in every single company in the ASX200 or the ASX300 so that the investment just goes up and down in line with the whole Australian share market. This is something that would be impossible for most investors to do on their own; and most investors would not have time to manage all the paperwork for 300 single investments! It is very clever and simple."

Anonymous said...

I say Prince, but the line starts here and gets longer! They'll take us to DOW 10,000 before there is no one in line! LOL

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sproutly said...

is there a way i can contact you? the email on the left of your page doesn't work anymore

Anonymous said...

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Rohit said...

any insights into the recent turmoils would be highly appreciated by many

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Anonymous said...

Just popping in to say that I just discovered your blog (I've been reading LOSC, LSO, WSO etc. for a while now), and it's probably my favourite of the monkey-targeted blogs out there (I say this as an analyst in Dubai). Great writing style, and it's nice to hear the London perspective as opposed to the NY one for once. Keep it up!

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