The Kruelberg Kretin Saga – X: Blunerstone Returns

Friday, April 20, 2007

The Kruelberg Kretin Saga – X: Blunerstone Returns

It’s 4:37 in the afternoon and you get a call on your mobile. Withheld number. You pick it up and hey presto.

“Hi, it’s Rebecca Nicholson from Assbury Moron.”

There’s a positive sounding ring to her voice. You can’t tell if it’s the fact that it’s Friday and she’s already packed her bags and ready to take the Eurostar for a shopping weekend in Paris or whether she has something genuinely good to tell you. A trickle of sweat drops onto the desk from your forehead, in anticipation of the make or brake news from Blunderstone that she surely has called to deliver.

It has got to be good. It must. She wouldn’t be so churpy if it weren’t. This is your future she has in her hands. She wouldn’t. Or would she?

“Hi” you reply with a somewhat shakier voice than you intended.

“Can you speak?”

You stand up, walk to a spot where everyone who noticed the suspicious call will at at least not be able to hear the whole conversation.

“Yes, go ahead”

“How are you today? Excellent weather we’re having no?”

This woman is barking mad. There she is, making a call that can change your life completely, and oh so typically English, she begins by speaking of the weather.

“I’m good. Busy. Very busy.”

You posture, pretending you’re super busy and the whole world wants you to advise them.

“Excellent. We’ll you’d better get busier, because Blunderstone want to see you again! You really impressed them”

You jump for joy, thank her and race to your desk. Nobody can tell you’ve just gotten a call from a headhunter. Oh no. Nobody can tell you’ve just gotten good news from a headhunter. Oh no.

You open your diary and pencil in. 8 AM. Monday. Blunderstone offices.

2 comments:

Lemming said...

Do headhunters really call like that? When do they first start to call?

Hank the Tank said...

Yes. You usually begin to get calls around this time of year, when the game of musical chairs begins. "Ain't nothing like the ring of a fresh headhunter call in the morning".