There is a brief silence, before you hear the unmistakeable voice of Pete Anderson from Blunderstone.
“Hi, it’s Pete from Blunderstone. Can you talk?”
Wow! Blunderstone. Not calling through a headhunter. Calling you direct. This is it. They want to give you an offer. They’re gonna do it on the spot. You know it. You can feel it. There’s a good reason Frank fucking Johnson lost that deal. It was so that Blunderstone can get it and on that high note, hire you to look after the company for them. What a day! Pete Anderson!
You fire back with the enthusiasm of a five year old who’s about to unwrap its birthday present.
“I’m afraid I don’t have any positive news for you. I wanted to call you in person because you really made a good impression, but we’ve decided to fill in the position with someone with more experience in private equity. We’ve hired a guy from Kruelberg Kretin, who worked on the transaction we announced today. He was so disgruntled working for some prick called Frank Johnson who led the deal at Kruelberg, that he was willing to accept much less favourable employment terms than you. You’re a good guy, and I like you, but this poor guy was willing to do anything to get out of Kruelberg.”
Frank fucking Johnson. You’ve done it again you #@%!*$$£~#.